6 Phrases to Eliminate from Your Life
“The words you speak become the house you live in.” ~Hafiz
The language we use on a daily basis is shaping our lives more than the average person understands.
This is because our brain listens to us. When we use language that benefits us, our brain seeks evidence of its truth. And when we use language that doesn’t benefit us, our brain will seek evidence of that, as well.
There are some particularly common phrases most of us have likely used at some point or another that are absolutely not benefitting you in any way.
So, let’s dive into the six phrases to eliminate from your life, along with questions to ask yourself to come up with phrases that don’t mask the truth, but serve you and your future self.
6 Phrases to Eliminate from Your Life
“I’m overwhelmed/busy.”
How many times have you asked someone how they are doing and they say something like, “I’ve been crazy busy”? I’m guilty of this myself-this was my common retort when someone asked how I was doing!
But saying these phrases are just thoughts in your head-regardless of what your schedule actually entails. And are these thoughts serving you?
These thoughts will lead your brain to find evidence of overwhelm and busy. Instead of saying “I’m so busy/overwhelmed,” try saying something like, “I have a lot of exciting projects right now,” or, “I have a lot on my schedule right now, but I find purpose in everything I do.”
Now, I mention I used to use these phrases all the time-but I no longer do. And if I told you I had a few side hustles alongside my full-time job, you’d probably think I was busy. But I don’t feel busy. I attribute this to changing my language combined with filling my schedule with only things that bring me purpose and joy. Because when you’re intentional in what you do, you don’t feel busy. Regardless of what’s on your schedule.
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“I can’t afford that.”
You have a mindset about money whether you realize it or not-either an abundance mindset or poverty mindset.
In studying money mindset I’ve found one of the key beliefs behind a poverty money mindset is “I can’t afford xyz.”
Now, maybe you legitimately can’t afford certain things.
The problem with this phrase (as with the other phrases in this article) is when you say it, your brain will subconsciously start to look for evidence of the phrase’s truth. So, by saying “I can’t afford that,” your brain is basically going to keep you stuck in a poverty mindset regarding money.
So, you may be wondering what are healthy and productive phrases to use if you truly cannot afford something. The key here is to change the language you’re using so the phrases you use work for you and not against you.
Try saying, “I am so excited about the day I can choose that.” Or, “I’m not choosing that right now.” These phrases will direct your brain differently.
You can also ask yourself, “who do I need to be to afford that?” or, “How do I need to show up to afford that?”
Related:
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“I’m confused.”
The problem with this statement is it drives you to take no action-which is far worse than taking action that ends up being the “wrong” decision.
When you make a “wrong” decision, it is better than the decision you didn’t make because by making that decision you were able to figure out that this decision didn’t work for you, so now you’re going to try another one.
Practice making decisions to help you gain clarity. This is what will keep you from feeling confused or stuck.
Ask yourself, “What am I clear about right now?” and “What decision am I afraid of making, and why?”
This will help you uncover if your confusion is due to a lack of information, a fear of deciding, or another reason.
Decision gets the momentum going and teaches you where you do and don’t want to go.
So, what if you truly are confused? Again, change the language you’re using. Trade in your “I’m confused” for, “In this moment I don’t know, and that’s okay. I’m figuring this out and I’ve got this.”
Related:
“It’s hard/I’m struggling.”
“It’s hard” and “I’m struggling” are thoughts we choose that are not necessarily factual.
If you’re in the habit of using these phrases, I’d like you to ask yourself if saying them is benefitting you in any way-because chances are, they aren’t.
Now, maybe you are going through something really hard. I’m not implying the solution is to pretend it’s not happening or sugar-coat reality.
But you do have a choice in the language you use. You can use phrases that come from a place of compassion and love for yourself where you can choose to tell a new story and create a new reality, versus the harshness of “It’s hard” or “I’m struggling.”
One phrase you could use in place of these phrases is, “It’s hard, but that’s okay. I can do hard things.”
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“I have to.”
As crazy as it may sound…you technically don’t have to do anything.
Everything you do is a choice. Even actions you feel are a must, such as going to work and taking care of your children, are ultimately your decision.
Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t go to work or not take care of your children, or implying you can or should make irresponsible choices based on the resolve you just don’t want to do them.
However, the key here is to understand, you have a choice. You can decide to own that choice and feel good about it, versus using the phrase, “I have to do xyz,” which does not serve you in any way.
Instead of “I have to,” try “I get to.”
“I get to go to work,” “I get to take care of my children, “I get to exercise and make fitness a priority,” etc.
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“I wish I could do/be/have that.”
Growing up a very awkward and shy child, I often looked to others in awe, wishing I could do what they did, have what they had, or look a certain way as they did.
So, I understand many women think they are limited and resigned to what they do and have right now. This could be further from the truth! I know because I struggled with all of these thoughts until I was around 30 years old and completely broke free of them when I realized I could do, be, and have anything I wanted. The ball was in my court to become who I wanted to be, and that goes for you, too.
You have to find evidence of why you can do, be, and have what you desire. And you’re not going to find that evidence by using phrases such as “I wish I could do that,” “I wish I could be like that,” and “I wish I could have that,” and you definitely won’t find the evidence scrolling social media.
Instead, start by asking “How can I do that? Who do I need to be to attract that?”
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Before You Go
When you realize how the phrases you use are triggering your brain to find the evidence that matches, you’ll be more intentional with the language you use.
Let your brain work for you, not against you.
The miracle is within you. Just by changing the language you use.
Eliminate these six phrases from your life. Nothing will change overnight, but in time, you’ll see it and understand the power of using language that serves you.
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So good! Especially the “it’s hard” phrase – I’m changing it to “it’s hard but I can do it!” Thank you Lisa!
You’re welcome, Kristin. 🙂