11 Habits That Make You Unhappy

11 Habits that Make You Unhappy

Who couldn’t use a little more happiness in life?

Sometimes, old habits and bad patterns chip away at our happiness quotient without us consciously aware of it.

In the list below, you’ll find many of these things provide a temporary high or convenience, but prevent us from experiencing true joy and in some cases, the success we desire.

Here is my list of 11 habits that make you unhappy.

Not Taking Care of Yourself

Wellness shouldn’t be a “maybe” thing, it should be a priority.

I recently read the outcome of a study published in the Lancet that determined people who exercised regularly are happier than those who have wealth.

Exercise > Money = Happiness.

So, why do we push our workout to the back of our to-do list?

Prioritize your health. That means more than just physical activity.

It means eating nutritious food that fuels your body and boosts brain power, over putting crap into your body that causes health problems and brain fog.

Getting a massage to release tension. Reading a book. Journaling. Having “me” time.

You must carve time out to take care of you in order for you to be able to take care of anything else (or others).

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Making Excuses

If you want something bad enough, you’ll find a way to make it happen.

No excuses.

When you keep your word to do something, whether it’s to yourself or someone else, you build integrity.

Integrity with yourself compounds over time and you’re more likely to keep your word to yourself going forward.

If you hold yourself accountable in one thing, it will be easy to hold yourself accountable in other things.

When you keep your word to other people, you build integrity with them. Going forward, when you give your word to them, they’ll have the faith that you’re going to do what you say you’ll do. You’ve proven as much to them in your recent actions, deeming you credible and capable of keeping your word.

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Creating an Impossible To-Do List

I’m guilty of this…but I’m getting better at it!

When filling out your schedule, you must be intentional about timing so you don’t over-schedule yourself.

If you work 8-5 and throw in an hour to exercise, two hours to work on a project at home, a dinner date, grocery store run, etc, you have to consider if you’re actually going to get all those things done in a 24-hour period (and still get 8 hours of sleep!)

Chances are, you’re going to keep the dinner date and the grocery store run, maybe the hour of exercise if you get up early enough, but by the time you get home from the dinner date it’s going to be late and you’ll be too tired for the two hours of working on the project.

Next thing you know, the project gets pushed back to the next day, and depending on that day’s schedule, may continue to get pushed back, until you’re scrambling at the last minute to complete it.

Be mindful of how much time it takes to do the things on your to-do list and if you’re setting yourself up for failure. It’s better to spread tasks out over a few days (if possible) than to cram them all into one day.

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Complaining

“When you complain, you remain.” ~Terri Savelle Foy

I love this quote. It sums up complaining perfectly.

When you complain, you signal to other people that you lack control over your life.

You also signal that you give up your authority to take control and find a solution for problem you are complaining about.

In some cases, what you complain about can’t be changed. For that, there is no sense in complaining at all.

There will always be things you can’t change, and you must choose to accept this in order to be happy.

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Not Learning to Say “No”

This is a lesson often learned the hard way…at least for me!

If it doesn’t serve you, just say no.

Don’t end up with a schedule full of things that support someone else’s agenda.

You aren’t being selfish by telling people no.

It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ever volunteer or serve others. There’s a time and place for volunteerism.

You have to look out for #1 first or you’re going to end up feeling resentful of those who are stealing your time.

This is especially true if you have goals you’re working toward.

Your goals need to come first before someone else’s.

Other people’s agendas are not your responsibility.

So, quit feeling guilty, and say “no” as often as possible, when possible, when you know it won’t serve you to say “yes.”

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Documenting Your Every Move on Social Media

Unfortunately, we live in an “it’s all about me” culture right now.

People can’t make it through one day (or even a few hours) without posting a new story on Instagram, Snapchat or Facebook.

What’s scary is, people are more interested in documenting their lives than simply living and enjoying them.

It’s as if that burrito you had for lunch didn’t even happen if you don’t share a picture of it to your Instagram following.

You know that time you forgot your phone at home and felt unprotected all day at work? I’m betting by the end of the day, you felt a sense of relief having that break from your phone.

I know, because I’ve been there.

There is a freedom that comes from going “off the grid,” even if just for a short period of time.

A freedom in not feeling the need to share every little detail of your life with your social media following, and simply just living.

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Overspending

I recently read credit card spending is the highest it’s ever been.

Some people would rather blow all their earnings on fancy dinners and materialistic things to prove their sense of worth to themselves and others (usually people they don’t even like).

Yahoo! Finance says 58% of people have less than $1k in savings-yikes!

If you qualify as an over-spender, I’d like you to ask yourself what lies behind your overspending.

What are you buying? Is it necessary, or a means of filling a void?

Before I met my husband, I used to buy things I could afford, but didn’t really need. Especially clothes.

I reached a point where I stopped buying clothes almost cold-turkey, and saved a bunch of money doing so in the process.

We also don’t go out to eat nearly as much as we used to-not because we can’t afford it, but it just seems so wasteful to go all the time, and we’re saving for our dream home.

If you spend on too much of anything, it becomes purposeless and wasteful. Right now, our dream home has much more purpose than going out to eat or buying clothes I don’t need.

Not only are we saving money for something more purposeful, but we (and especially me!) learned to enjoy cooking and the simple pleasures of being home.

Now, when we do go out to eat, it seems more special, enjoyable, and purposeful in its own right.

What does your spending say about you?

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Over-anything

Excess is the name of the game here.

Whether it’s too much Netflix, over-eating, over-drinking, over-scrolling, whatever-it takes away from your happiness.

Instant gratification hurts us more than we realize. It might feel good to give into whatever your pleasure du jour is, but the guilt that follows isn’t worth it.

Delayed gratification and not over-indulging in anything creates discipline, which creates happiness your weakness could never provide for you.

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Avoiding Hard Conversations

Delaying what needs to be said only makes things worse, and will come back to blow up in your face eventually.

Think of difficult conversations like ripping off a band-aid. Get the message out there in a calm and mature manner, and let the recipient work through what’s been said.

You cannot be afraid to offend someone if your intentions are in the right place. If the recipient lashes out or shuts down, it’s not your responsibility to fix them.

Allowing hard conversations to happen will always create an internal peace inside you regardless of any blow-back you may receive as a result.

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Holding on to Bad Relationships

I’m not just talking about romantic relationships, either.

Evaluate all of your relationships.

If you have “friends” you feel you’d be better without, it may be time to let them go.

I’ve definitely weeded some friends out of my life when necessary, and kept others at arm’s length.

You are the company you keep.

When certain friends text you, does it incite happiness, or dread?

If the former, that’s probably a sign you need to distance yourself or maybe remove them from your life altogether.

You don’t have to feel guilty about it, and your inner peace will thank you for it.

Keep those close who bring value and joy to your life. Those who lift you up and don’t drag you down or leave you feeling depleted and drained.

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Not Resting

There are some weekends I just cannot get myself to sit still or sit down. I’m just so focused on productivity and what I can do in the moment to get closer to seeing my goals achieved.

If you share my struggle, it’s time to put yourself in time out.

Force yourself to stop what you’re doing and spend time only doing activities that invoke peace.

Maybe for you, that means a block of time of nothing but peace and quiet.

It’s great to stretch yourself and get things done, but life is too short not to rest and spend time doing things you enjoy.

Recently, I found myself spending my weekend doing too much “stuff”, and even though I had more on my To-Do list, I decided my sanity was more important.

I spent a good chunk of my Sunday just playing video games in our home theater.

Because of this, I didn’t go into Monday dreading the week ahead. I felt at peace, and rested.

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Before You Go

Bad habits contribute to your unhappiness and steal your joy, not to mention hinder you from becoming your future self.

What habits do you need to dump to improve the quality of your life?

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Lisa

Hi! I'm Lisa. I help women live purposeful, fulfilling and joyful lives. I'm happily married and a fur mom to two boxers and two rabbits. I love Jesus, freelance writing, fitness, personal development, reading books, football, cross-stitching, and video games.

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