How to Solve Any Problem - Legend of Lisa

How to Solve Any Problem

“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used to create them.”~Albert Einstein

Problems never go away, and life is never better on the other side of solving them.

Solve one problem, and up pops a new one.

This is a circumstance of life that cannot be changed.

One of my favorite examples of this is from the relationship evolution of my life:

When I was single (and I was single for a very long time because I had set high standards for what I wanted), I had single-people problems. I was content being single and enjoyed the ability to travel when I wanted and pretty much live on my own terms, but I was ready to meet the right person and start a life with them.

Then I met my now-husband, and we entered into a serious relationship where it was established from the beginning the end goal was marriage. I’d never had someone who wanted to do life with me, so while my “problem” of being single and wanting someone to do life with was solved, I then had couples-problems, which were brand new to me.

Now I’m married, and while the “problems” from my relationship prior to marriage were solved, I now have “married-people-problems.”

All this to say:

Problems are forever.

But, that doesn’t mean you have to be resigned to a life of conflict and misery (but if you are, that’s your choice.)

I’m going to demonstrate how you can use the CTFAR self-coaching model to coach yourself through any problem.

This model is a cognitive behavioral thought model created by life coach Brooke Castillo of thelifecoachschool.com.

I started using this model to solve my own problems, and it works.

The ability to solve your problems by changing the way you think is a priceless, indispensable tool, and it’s completely free and available to you.

Let’s get started…

The Model

CTFAR stands for…

C-Circumstance

The circumstance is a fact and is completely neutral.
Examples: “I’m single.” “My salary is $60,000.” “I weigh 150 lbs.”
“I’m not good at_________” is not a circumstance. This is a thought.

T-Thought

The sentences in your head.
Examples: “I’m so fat.” “Marriage is not an option for me because I can’t find the right guy.” “I’m bad at business.”

F-Feeling

What is the one word that best describes how you feel about your thought?
Examples: Fearful, unmotivated, angry, insecure, scared, depressed, etc.

A-Action

There are many actions to take, and they all lead to different results.
The action you take is informed by your feeling, which is informed by your thoughts about your circumstance.
Not taking action is an action.
Example: You think you’re bad at business, so you procrastinate working on your small business to make it profitable.

R-Result

The result is directly created from the action you took.
Example: You think you’re bad at business, so you continue to procrastinate working on your small business to make it profitable. As a result, you continue to not make money with your small business. Your thought of being “bad at business” is fueling the results you’re getting in your business.

Putting the Model into Action

Step 1: Do A Thought Download

This is also known as a “brain dump.”

A thought download defined is to take captive every thought running through your head and then write them all down.

Examples:

I’m scared I’m going to lose my job. Everyone I know is getting furloughed because of the Coronavirus’ impact on the economy.
My job leaves me feeling depleted and burned out.
I wish I could lose 10 pounds, but losing weight is impossible for me.

Step 2: Choose One Thought from Step 1

Choose one thought from the first step to focus on.

Example: I wish I could lose 10 pounds, but losing weight is impossible for me.

Step 3: Put this Thought in the Thought-line of the CTFAR Model.

Example: Add “I wish I could lose 10 pounds, but losing weight is impossible for me” to the thought-line of the CTFAR model.

Step 4: Fill in the Rest of the Model

Example:

C- I weigh 150 pounds. (Circumstance)

T-I wish I could lose 10 pounds, but losing weight is impossible for me. (Thought)

F-Un-confident (Feeling)

A-Not going to the gym. (Action)

R-Staying at 150 lbs. (Result)

Step 5: Question Everything

Question everything in the model you filled out.

This practice and the questions you come up with are completely neutral.

Now, ask yourself what you would WANT to think about losing 10 pounds.

You can think anything you want, but remember:

Your thought about your circumstance informs the feeling you have about it, which informs the action you take, which dictates the result you get.

Example: What if I am capable of losing 10 pounds? Why not me? What is preventing me from accomplishing this?

Step 6: Create an Intentional Model

Create an intentional model based on the result you want to have.

This will allow you to align your thought, feeling and action to create that result and solve your problem.

Example:

C-I weigh 140 pounds (new circumstance)

T-I lose weight easily and met my goal to lose 10 pounds. (new thought)

F-Confident (new feeling)

A-Waking up an hour early to go to the gym three times a week. (new action taken)

R-Ten pounds lost to achieve goal weight. (new result)

Step 7: Practice the New Thought

Now, practice the new thought you created.

Example: I lose weight easily and met my goal to lose 10 pounds. It is not hard for me to wake up one hour early to go to the gym three times a week.

Purpose of the Model

It Creates Awareness

Experts say the average human being has as many as 60,000 thoughts a day.

80% of them are negative and 95% of them are repetitive.

Clearly, many of us lack self-awareness in our thinking, or we’d have more control over our thoughts.

A common pitfall is getting stuck in reaction mode-just reacting to the circumstances of life vs. living intentionally, from a place of abundance and creating the positive results we want.

An example of functioning out of reaction:

Circumstance: You get laid-off from your job.
Reaction: Instead of actively seeking out new opportunities and sending employers your resume, you complain about your short-comings on social media. Your mindset is focused on negative thoughts such as “no one is hiring,” and, “the employers who are hiring, won’t hire me. I’m just not good enough.” You’re going to binge-drink a bottle of wine and stuff your face with chips to assuage your feelings, wondering why this had to happen, instead of thinking forward.

Compare this to an example of operating from a place of intentionality and abundance in the same circumstance:

Circumstance: You get laid-off from your job.
Reaction: You update your resume and your Linkedin profile, then submit your resume to companies you’re interested in. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself and imbibing in bad habits, you allow the negative emotions to come. You think, “This sucks, but that’s okay. It doesn’t have to mean anything about me. There are plenty of better opportunities out there available to me. I’m completely capable of securing a new job with an amazing company.”

You Can Solve Your Problems

Problems never go away. They’ll always be there.

But the model gives you the ability to solve any problem.

A great example of this, as I mentioned earlier with the example from my own life, is the evolution of your relationship status:

When you’re single, you have single-people problems.

You want nothing more than to find your person, settle down, and get married.
Going on dates is nerve-wracking and often leads to nowhere.
You feel left out when around your coupled-up friends.
Being single on holidays makes you feel sad and lonely.
Etc.

But then you do find your person, and now you have relationship problems:

You can’t just go out with the girls on a whim anymore.
There’s someone else to consider in decisions.
Your significant other has unfounded jealousy issues.
The relationship isn’t progressing at the rate you want it to.
You’re ready for marriage, but your significant other isn’t.
Etc.

Then, you get married, and you have married-people-problems:

Your spouse lost their job.
The kids leave you and your spouse with no time for each other.
You don’t feel appreciated by your spouse.
Finances are tight and put a strain on your marriage.
You never have time for yourself.
Etc.

The grass is never greener on the other side.

There will always be problems.

The CTFAR model enables you to solve them by thinking intentionally, from a place of abundance. As opposed to staying trapped in your negative thoughts and reaction mode.

You Can Turn Your Obstacles into Strategies

This model will allow you to see what is possible and create a strategy to solve your problem.

For example, let’s say you have a small business, and you’re feeling stuck. You haven’t made any money yet and your reasoning for that result is, “I’m just bad at business.”

The circumstance of your problem (the obstacle) is, you haven’t made money with your small business.

Your thought is, “I’m bad at business.”

By using the CTFAR model, you can identify what strategy you need to take to become someone who makes money with their business.

Because the reason your small business hasn’t made money isn’t because you’re “bad at business.”

It’s because you haven’t uncovered the strategy to make money with your business.

You might come up with a strategy, implement it, and still fail. But if you continue to use the CTFAR model, you’ll fail forward.

In other words, trial and error.

You won’t allow failure to mean anything about you or get “stuck” because you’ll move on to the next strategy, and the next, until you get it right.

Until you solve your problem.

Final Takeaways

Problems are forever.
Circumstances are neutral and only mean something when you make them mean something.
You have to give up negative thinking in order to create new results. This might mean giving up your current identity or belief about yourself that doesn’t line up with the person you want to become.
Every time you have a problem, use the CTFAR self-coaching model, failing forward, until you get the result you want.

Try this out with a problem you currently have.

Then leave a comment below with your results!

I want to help you solve your problems-let me know what you’re struggling with today.

Let’s talk!

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