How to break a bad habit in 6 steps.
“The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine.” ~Mike Murdock
Your daily routine is comprised of a series of habits you’ve formed over time.
These habits determine the outcome of your life.
Imagine This
If someone were to show up at your house unexpected one morning and shadow you for the day, what would they see?
Would you be proud of your daily routine, or cower in embarrassment?
Society is good at telling us this: because we slaved away all day at our job, we rightfully deserve our nightly Netflix binge/alcoholic beverage/guilty pleasure.
But to make these and other bad habits a staple in our daily routine ends up doing us more harm than good.
There is a difference between the occasional reward vs. the daily partaking in of guilty pleasures aka bad habits.
Our brain craves pleasure, so of course we desire these things (think of your favorite guilty pleasure).
…but that doesn’t mean we need to habitually partake in them.
Anything that makes you feel good in the moment, with negative results after the dopamine hit is long gone, is a bad habit.
These little “guilty pleasures” build up quickly into bad habits if you let them, will take control over your life and will hinder you from reaching the success you desire (whatever success looks like for you).
My Honest Example
I’m going to be completely honest here: If someone showed up at my house these last few days to observe me, I’d be embarrassed, and I’ll tell you why.
My grandma recently passed away, and in my grief, I threw my amazing daily routine out the window. I slept in past my alarm, got no exercise, ate junk foods, allowed myself endless amounts of coffee, had glasses of wine nearly every night, and my productivity greatly suffered overall.
There is allowance for this type of behavior when a loved one passes and I should allow myself grace. But the problem is, after the week was over and life went back to normal, I struggled to bounce back to my awesome daily routine.
I ended up wishing I’d exercised more self-discipline during my week of grief.
If someone were around to observe me these last few days, they would see: Me, hitting snooze on my alarm umpteen times. Struggling (and failing) to motivate myself. Succumbing to negative thoughts and feelings from a bout of depression. And throwing in the towel early to (wait for it) have a glass of wine.
Ugh.
Thankfully, I’ve been in this rut before, so I know just what to do to get out of it. I’d like to share these steps with you, because I know if they work for me, they’ll work for you, too.
Acknowledge the Bad Habit
The first step might seem like a no-brainer: you need to formally acknowledge the bad habit. You need to accept it for what it is and that it has become a problem for you. If you cannot do that, or refuse to do that, nothing is going to change.
Take Notes
Think about how this bad habit makes you feel in the moment while you are partaking in it, and write those feelings down.
All of the good feels.
Then, write down how you feel after the positive effects have worn off.
Depending on what your bad habit is, you could be feeling a variety of things, but I think you’ll notice some common themes:
- Over-eating: You feel bloated, your thinking is clouded, and you’re probably feeling guilty. If you’re on a diet, you are sabotaging your efforts.
- Over-drinking: The next day you have a hangover, a headache, clouded thinking, lack of energy, no motivation, etc.
- Eating unhealthy: You feel bloated and might have a guilty conscience. You’re susceptible to weight gain and nutrition-deficiency. If you are on a diet, you’re completely sabotaging your efforts.
- Not exercising: You feel guilt, and lack energy and strength. If you’re trying to lose weight, you are sabotaging your efforts.
- Social Media: Constantly being glued to your phone to see what others are doing is a way of watching people live their lives while you could be living yours. Comparing your life to those of others is the thief of joy and this harms your self-esteem, self-worth, and happiness. You will get zero value out of the time you waste on social media.
- Netflix or TV: This is another way you waste hours of your life watching other people live their life while you could be living yours, and chances are, depending on what you were watching, you likely got zero value out of it.
- Over-spending: Depending on your financial status, this could put you further in debt, or at the very least, further away from your financial goals and a waste of money overall. Guilt and remorse may creep in. If you have a shared account with a spouse, it could cause relational problems on top of everything else.
As you can see, there are a few recurring themes in the after-effects of imbibing in our bad habits.
So, how do we avoid falling into this toxic trap?
Replace with a New “Good” Habit
Look at how those bad habits made you feel at the height of the pleasure they brought you, and find a healthy, “good” replacement that will give you similar good-feels without the negative after-effects.
It may seem unpleasant and hard to form a good habit that replaces your bad one and brings you equal satisfaction, but you can do it! You just have to be self-disciplined, willing to give this new good “thing” a chance, and believe in yourself.
Just as easy as it was to pick up your bad habit is manifesting a good one.
Habits are easy to form, but hard to break (clearly), so it’s important to find one you will find comfort in to help battle the craving of wanting that bad thing.
As an example, when addressing my nightly wine habit, I thought about the root cause of my love of wine: I felt like I needed to be drinking something, because it helped me relax and feel good, despite life’s circumstances.
When I say “drinking something,” I don’t necessarily mean alcoholic beverages. I love my morning cup of black coffee, but I made the choice to keep it to one cup a day, because I want to keep my caffeine intake in check.
Over-indulging in caffeine is a bad habit in itself. So, replacing alcohol with coffee or another caffeinated beverage wasn’t an option for me for that reason.
I decided to explore the world of teas, trying different kinds of non-caffeinated ones, and found a love of peppermint tea.
Instead of couching it with a glass of vino at night, I made myself a steaming hot mug of peppermint tea, which was calming to me on a cold winter’s night.
I began to associate the feelings of calmness and relaxation I had with wine, with peppermint tea!
I’m having a cup as we speak!
21-Day Trial
After you follow the above steps, make the decision to implement your switch-out for 21 days. Just give it a shot for 21 days, and see what happens!
During this time, document how you feel in a journal. You’re probably going to have negative emotions and feelings when you’re craving the bad habit, and that’s okay. It’s completely normal.
Allow yourself to feel those negative emotions, but don’t give in to them. Instead, enjoy the new, “good” habit you are implementing into your routine in the bad habit’s place.
Also document how you feel after the craving has passed. Chances are, you’re going to be feeling pretty dang good knowing you had control over your urges.
As a result of your efforts, your daily routine is going to greatly improve and simultaneously improve your mindset.
The end result is a happier, stronger self-disciplined, successful you!
There is freedom in conquering our bad habits.
I think it’s important to document this whole process in a journal so when you are in the throes of a craving for your vice, you can look back at how you felt after partaking in that bad thing. The guilt, the lack of motivation, the physical discomfort, etc.
You can also look back at how you felt when you abstained from said thing. The feeling of victory, accomplishment, productivity, etc.
Plan in Advance
Cheers!
There is nothing wrong with the occasional Netflixing, glass of wine, slice of pizza, indulgent purchase, etc. These things exist for a reason!
The key is looking at these things as rewards and not every-day givens.
Plan in advance when you’re going to kick back on the couch come Friday night with your significant other and binge-watch the show of the moment on Netflix for a few hours and enjoy a glass of wine or two.
When you make the plan, you exhibit the control.
Give Yourself Grace
When you don’t live up to the expectations you established for yourself and slip up, you’ve got to let it go.
Right away!
Otherwise, guilt and remorse will eat away at you, and you’re setting yourself up for more failure.
Vow that yesterday no longer matters and today is a clean slate and a fresh start.
I want to know how you triumphed over your bad habits. Leave a comment below-I love hearing from you!
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